puttin' on the ritz

i was never much for all the glitz of being engaged and planning a wedding. i know a lot of people say that (and this blog might contradict it) but to be honest, i never thought--nor did my closest friends--that i'd ever get married, let alone be engaged before i hit 21. so it was only natural that when ryan and i decided to get hitched, i didn't expect a big diamond--or any diamond at all. we're both pretty broke, and to be frank, the bigger and sparklier and more impressive an engagement ring is, the more it frightens me. so we picked out a modest substitute of a small princess-cut peridot with two tiny diamonds as sidestones. since then, two very discouraging things have happened:

1. ouch...

for whatever reason, whenever i wear my engagement ring (even if it's only for a few hours) i get a rash on my finger. like, a terrible, dry, red, itchy, open wound kind of rash. my first thought was that soap or sanitizer from work was getting stuck under it and irritating my skin. but since that occurred to me, i haven't been wearing it when i have any sort of chemicals around that might get on my hands. and it still happens. then someone suggested that even though the ring is gold, many times the setting itself is made with a stronger metal, and i might be allergic to that metal. i didn't think this was the case, as i've never had a reaction to any other jewelery...but i took their advice and painted a couple coats of clear nail polish topcoat on the inside of the ring and setting. but nope, i still have a reaction when i wear it. and consequently, i've stopped wearing it.

2. ouch!!!?!

this bit i really have a problem with...because my ring has a stone that isn't a diamond, people don't take me seriously when i tell them i'm engaged or mention "my fiance." i suppose it could be that i'm young, also, but i don't really look young. people usually think i'm five or six years older than i am...but i always catch them glancing at my ring and trying not to raise an eyebrow. my typical reaction is to stare right back and secretly curse them. seriously, what is that about?! i don't want to waste money on a hunk of rock, and i don't particularly like that kind of rock to begin with, so why should i lug one around? of course, now that i need a new ring that i'm not allergic to, and have found a certain affinity with champagne diamods that have visible intrusions....i kind of want a diamond ring. and yes, it has everything to do with being taken seriously. the other day i went to talk with a vendor (sans my fiance) and she actually raised an eyebrow and said--in the snottiest voice i've ever heard from a professional--"are you even engaged?" yes i am, thank you very much. oh, and by the way, fuck you.

so now i've been secretly looking for a substitute diamond for my diamond substitute...and have fallen head over heels for a few artists on the ever-wonderful etsy.com


prime example: Rob and Leighanne Thompson

not only are their rings simplistic and gorgeous, but they do custom work as well. i've got my eye on ordering a variation of this ring. perhaps with a slightly larger diamond (champagne of course) and a thin wood inlay as seen in many of their other designs. it's androgenous enough that ryan could have a matching one (sans rock). i showed him, and he approves. i'm excited to see that their shop is open again (they'd closed it for a week or two to catch up on custom orders) and to see that their prices are very very reasonable. that's always important when ordering custom handmade pieces, but especially with our starving-artist-student budget.

conspire

so after freaking out for approximately 48 hours about trying to decide which photographer to hire two years from now, i finally snapped out of it and realised that i really did like six steps' portfolio just as much as scott's at olive. and then i realised that my subjective pre-concieved bias towards olive didn't outweigh the $3000 difference anyway. and then i realised the fact that he just happened to be sitting next to me at work the day i was searching for an acceptable (and budget-friendly) substitute could not possibly have been chance. even though i typically say that there's no such thing as luck, and usually opt for chaos theory, i cannot deny the fact that deep down i still hold onto the almost childish notion that the universe will ultimately conspire in my favour. so i called him up. and he seems wonderful. i really appreciate his humble and magnanimous philosophy when it comes to offering his talent up for such a college-student-budget-friendly price. and i think i've fallen head over heels. so that's spectacular. and now i need a post-coital (jk) smoky-treat. thank you and adieu.

anti-click?

i'm starting to freak out about the whole photographer thing. as much as i hunt for a more reasonable price tag, the more i think i want scott or no photos at all...but that's certainly not true, is it? considering that the photos are the most important bit--to me, anyway--and i feel like it's the only think i haven't cut out of the plan yet. but like i told him, i'd rather have no photographer at all than hire someone who lacks his creative eye, his talent, his knack for composition, art, and capturing emotion... arrrgghhghh...

if i was ready and willing to spend thousands of dollars on a spectacular wedding, i wouldn't be so concerned about paying over $4k for a photographer to document it. the thing is...i've sacrificed the whole wedding because i don't really care about it. i just want the photographer. but photographers (particularly the really spectacular ones) shoot weddings. not cocktail parties that don't last more than a few hours. well, okay, i'm sure they'd be happy to shoot cocktail parties that don't last more than a few hours...but they'd charge the same price as they would for shooting a wedding for eight hours. because they could book that wedding instead of the cocktail party. and that, my invisible interweb friends, is the problem. well, not the problem so much as my problem.

i'm getting ready to just beg. and i haven't even gotten to talk to him at all yet, except for a few awkward emails...

my only shred of hope here is that despite his fabulosity, he might be willing to book me a sunday evening in octobre for a lot less, since it's three hours instead of 8 or 12 hours + all the getting ready bullshit that i still don't know why brides do, unless it's merely there to fill up the 8 hour minimum that they're paying for.

okay, ryan is being impatient. i stop now. goodbye imaginary friends.

do re mi fa sew

Francine just returned my call, and said that she'd be happy to make my wedding dress, assuming that she's still sewing when it's time to start threading needles. That's great news! Unfortunately, when I emailed her to show her the dress I've been ogling, I discovered that I apparently wrote her email address down wrong when she gave it to me over the phone. Shit. I took a stab at what I'd gotten wrong, and hopefully it will work this time. Hopefully...

On a lighter note, I didn't mind her calling me 'Michelle' because she pronounces it the right way / the way i like it / the french way. Mee-Shell. Gotta love that.

So today once Ryan and I are home, I'm going to drag him to the park down the street and take some photos of him that I can turn into some sort of art installation (or at least touch up, crop, and print to hang on the wall). Mayhaps I'll post them if I'm feeling zesty for all of you imaginary friends of mine out in the interweb. Heh.

click again!

well...i just spend a few hours trying to find the lost portfolio. unsuccessfully. i'm assuming that the combination of being bored out of my mind and completely exhausted yesterday amounted to me hallucinating a perfect portfolio which was really a montage of the best shots of many, many portfolios. but in the end, i've found six photographers i'd be happy to hire. here they are, in no particular order (okay, that's a lie):

olive juice studios >> $4200+
vada photography // blog >> $4000+
six steps photography >> $1200+
noah wolf >> $3500/5hrs (custom quotes avail.)
serendipity >> $2500+
perspective studios >> $2800+

no matter who you are, please, for the love of god, tell me what you think.

to bookmark or not to bookmark...

in the grand tradition of me having simultaneously wonderful and terrible luck whilst searching for potential vendors...yesterday when ryan came home from work, i excitedly brought up the webpage of the photographer i last posted about, only to discover that while the price was still right, the portfolio was definitely not the one i had so nearly orgasmed over. not to say that it wasn't still a great portfolio...it just wasn't the one i thought it was. that'll teach me to browse ten websites at once, right? so now begins the hunt for the lost portfolio (which i apparently didn't bookmark, since i thought it was the one i blogged about--which i did bookmark). so now i'm back to browsing mnbride.com, but i cannot seem to locate that portfolio again. truly strange. i wish i wasn't so stupid.

but on the brighter side, i found another photographer i like in the process. although i haven't been able to locate their rates. bummer.

click!

i had the most wonderfully bizarre experience just now. i've been sitting at work since 10am (after having worked since 5am) pilfering the wifi (yet again) and after a few hours i decided to snag one of the big comfy leather chairs by the fireplace. and in walks a guy and two girls and they sit down in the other three leather chairs by me, and start talking photography. they discuss wedding details, experience, wants and needs, contracts, et cetera... and the girl says something along the lines of "i'm still in shock--i've been all depressed about not having enough money to spend on really great photography, and when i found you guys, i was just like wow that's gotta be out of my price range, and when i checked the rates, i was just like...WOW!" and while this made me raise an eyebrow for a moment or two as i tried to sneak a peek into his portfolio and pricing sheet, i was unable to judge either of them from my angle. at least without standing up, walking behind them, and leaning down (which i did not do, although i'd hardly put it past myself). i made a mental note to try to talk with him when their meeting wrapped up, or at least ask for his card (or the name of the studio or a web address--anything) but of course, with my luck, he made a quick escape and held the door open for them and walked them out to their car, so i didn't want to intrude and resorted to cranky interwebbing. after about an hour, i decided that what she said was like a little ray of hope for me (seeing as i, too, am obsessed with a photographer out of my price range--scott at olive juice) and decided to do a quick search of photographers on minnesota bride. lo and behold, after looking through a number of mediocre (and overpriced) photographers' portfolios, i stumbled across something amazing. six steps photography--while they have a name i find slightly curious--has some really excellent photographer action. and by excellent i mean kick-ass. like, competing-with-my-current-obsession kick-ass. and so i took a deep breath, held it in, bit my lip, and clicked the link for rates...and just about came (yes, right in the middle of a coffee shop. and yes, the coffee shop where i work). their packages start at $1200. and aren't stingy by any means. scott's start at $4200. but i think the most interesting thing was that when i looked at six steps' about section...there was a photo of the man who had been sitting next to me while he met with some potential clients. small world. so bizarre.

magic of the interweb

bored out of my mind, i decided to pilfer caribou's wi-fi again, and randomly searched for some vintage-inspired trinkets that might spark some creative brainwaves. thank god for etsy. always find a plethora of things to go ga-ga over. i also stumbled across an awesome new-to-me website: eco-artware. it's a type-obsessed artist's wet dream come true.

drop dead betsey

so this morning i woke up much earlier than needed and proceeded to scoot over to work and pilfer their wi-fi so i could scourge the interweb for my ideal ensemble. lo and behold i just about had an orgasm when i found this dress by none other than my beloved betsey johnson (the designer, not my betsy johnson)on overstock.com:

this is terrible. i want it. now. like, right now. somebody please buy it for me. now. like, right now (just kidding, of course). too bad that this dress will be impossible to find 2.5 years from now. but i'm thinking it's probably simple enough for someone to make. i guess i'll keep my fingers crossed until it's actually time to be shopping for a dress. no doubt francine could do that with grace and ease, assuming she's willing and i won't have to sell a kidney on the black market to pay her for it. i should really call her. like, soon. but anyway, here's more fun stuff that i'm totally obsessed with when it comes to the what-will-the-bride-wear department:

behold--the perfect shoe!

and a lot of inspiration...

i think you get the idea...let me know what you think!

the V-spot

so in case anyone was wondering, here are some photos of spill the wine that i swiped from their website. ryan and i are completely in love with the space, from the art to the brick to the hardwood to the light fixtures and bar. and they can get my clarette de die! i think. and while we have yet to actually eat there, the menu looks absolutely spectacular. they have something for everyone. choosing what to have is going to be tricky, i think. god, i can't stop daydreaming about all the type they have painted all over the restaurant... my favourite is above the bar, but i didn't see a picure. here are a few they had up:

the great part is that the colour scheme of the restaurant is pretty close to what i was hoping to do anyway. yay. i love it. i think that the three biggies to my idea are lights, type, and orange focal points. thank god they have a lot of decoration on hand, because i am sooo not willing to fork up that much money when it's only gonna last the duration of a single dinner.

potlucky

so it just occurred to me that perhaps what i should do is have the bit at spill the wine be ryan and my family and friends, and then have all our persian friends get together with us somewhere and do things potluck style. that way there won't be any culture clashing, i'll be able to give them my full attention, and it won't cost as much as doing everything at the restaurant. the persians are all about potlucks anyway.
brilliant. fucking brilliant! so now i just need to see if anyone will volunteer their home sweet home for the bash.

but still remains the challenge of dessert at spill the wine. to be honest, i'm not sure if they do little desserts or not--if they do, that would be the most economical, since it would be included in the $30/person minimum, and i wouldn't have to spend more or extra. i just remembre him saying that we can have the cake done by an outside vendor if we want. i don't remembre him saying that we have to. although, i've never been fond of cake anyway--especially wedding cake--so i've been thinking that cupcakes or cheesecakes or some other little per-person dessert would be more up my alley. probably would save us a cutting fee, too.

i just checked their catering menu and it says that they have bars&cookies ($18/10 people) and 10" round cakes ($3/slice), including cheesecakes, et cetera. No cupcakes, but it says "if there is something else that you would like at your event, please tell us--our chef will accomodate your needs!" so i'm guessing we could figure something out. perhaps cupcakes just aren't classy enough, though. but i do have some creative cupcake decorating ideas. who says there's no such thing as gourmet cupcakes?! i love cupcakes. they are far superior to normal cakes. and we could cut the cupcake! it would be so win!

i think this is so simple and clever:

remind me to track down a local cupcake artist.

on another note, i've begun the tricky task of figuring out what the hell i want to wear *shudder* and have decided (at this point, anyway) that i'd prefer to be in a shorter, more casual dress, either 50's or 60's inspired, i'm not sure yet. and i want to wear a french veil. other than that, i'm totally lost. i guess i'm going to save that for a much later date when the wedding is a tad closer (haha) and i've lost about 100 pounds. just kidding...


...but in any case, i think i can commission an old family friend of ours to sew it for me instead of buying one. because i don't know if i could actually find what i'm looking for--especially not for the price i'm hoping for. of course, she might not be willing to give me a hefty discount like that, but hey, ya never know. i just know that it would be swell to get hitched in a dress custom made by the hands of the woman who once sewed ensembles for prince (yes, the prince).

75 is the magic number

twice the price, but i just don't know if i have the heart to cut the guest list short by that kind of amount, especially when i only have like five or ten friends and then our families.

so as long as it stays under 75...maybe 50...i'm satisfied. worst case scenario i'll cut the photographer *sob sob* and opt for the original photobooth plan instead.

if the venue will allow it, that is. god, that would suck...rawrr.

30 is the magic number

so after finding the basic numbers for the f&b min at spill the wine i've come to the conclusion that inviting all the persians may not be what i want to do after all. twenty fewer people on the guest list sounds mighty nice right now, but i don't want to offend them in any way, shape or form, especially if they feel obligated to buy us gifts despite the fact that they weren't invited. because offending persians is terribly frightening, especially when they're family friends who have watched you grow up (and have probably dealt with you wetting the guest bed once upon a time).
so here's how it breaks down:

30 guests $900 // 45 guests $1350
60 guests $1800 // 75 guests $2250

i'm hoping that all the little things can be done for about $1000-1500 (dessert, clothes, hair & makeup, small favors and trinkets to decorate the space, et cetera) because i'm so clever, creative, and resourceful. but then there's the $4000 photographer *gulp*

so with 30 guests and the photographer it comes to about $6000... but 75 guests (that's just about everyone) and no photographer is around $4000. so what is most important to me? that is the question, isn't it?

and to be honest--as much as this makes me an asshole--i'd rather have the photographer and cut the guest list short. because i really don't like being surrounded by tons of people and being the center of attention. if i did, i'd have chosen a much different career path. as much as they all deserve an invite, to be honest, i just don't know them all that well, as hard as that may be to believe. and 30 people isn't even all of our family members, who i feel are the definite A-list. But then what about my friends? I want them to be there, too. I just don't know if i can afford that guest list of 75 if i'm footing the bill.

but i'm still crossing my fingers that either the photographer will miraculously decide he doesn't want to charge me that much, or that someone else will foot that bill. ya never know, right?

of course, there is the chance that perhaps not everyone in my family will be attending. about half of them (unlike ryan's close-knit midwestern gang) are scattered around the country. and i don't think i'd classify them as having tons of money lying around so that they'd want to fly into minneapolis for a day to have dinner with me, wedding or no. then again, i am the only girl of the kids, and i doubt the boys will be getting hitched anytime soon, and this is pretty fair warning. i guess i'll just have to wait for rsvp's when the invitations are sent out a year and a half from now. HA!

i really don't know why i'm even planning stuff to this degree already. probably because it's a nice distraction from (and an excuse not to do work for) my classes. i guess what i should do first is figure out if anyone's helping me foot the bill or not (although i doubt anyone will).

and i'm beginning to think that maybe the honeymoon plans (wandering around australia for a week or two) might be a little much--and so if we have contributing to that as an alternative option for wedding gifters, we'd 1. not have the essential registry items and 2. possible not even collect enough for the trip at all. and then, of course, if we're traveling (especially overseas) we'd need to save up a considerable chunk of money in addition to the wedding fund. so i might nix that part of the plan.

i guess i should think about the guest list for a while yet and figure that all out.

not that i really need to do that 2.5 years in advance.

spill

after having a few panic attacks last week, i was definitely on the verge of rejecting the idea of a wedding completely and dragging ryan down to city hall and getting it all over with. but instead, i decided to just reject the idea of an indoor gala featuring any sort of food & drink, cake and all. but my last shred of hope was to investigate a newish restaurant that a friend of a friend referred me to. so on the way home from school with ryan, we stopped at spill the wine to investigate. and fell in love. and when the time came for the magnifying glass, we were shocked (in a good way) to find a reasonable number printed on the teeny-tiny price tag.

with a guestlist of thirty, it would be under a thousand. with a guestlist of seventy-five, just about two thousand. many brides spend more on the dress. i find that completely insane, so i'll be spending more on the photographer, who i have yet to meet with but am already completely obsessed with (in a good way, not a creepy stalkerish way). his name is scott, he's at olive juice studios, and he's amazing.

of course, there's always a catch, and this time the teeny-tiny magnifying glass reveals something that might pose a problem for this twenty-something dreamer-on-a-very-tight-budget...commissions start at $4200. this is, in fact, relatively high for photographers in this area, even the better ones. but to be honest, this is the one thing i'm completely willing to splurge on. i'm just hoping that maybe-possibly-perhaps someone (or some number of people) might be willing to foot that one little bill.

originally, i wanted a photographer and a photobooth, but i'd take scott over a photobooth any day. of course, ideally, i still would like to have both. it's all going to come down to budget (as always).

if we just have the dinner (and some clothes and little trinkets, of course) my guess is that we can keep it around $3k. maybe $5k if i get a bit carried away. add on a photobooth for $1k and scott for $4k and suddenly we're looking at an $8000 grand total. but if somebody is often enough to pay scott on my behalf, that would drop down to $4k that i'd have to cover, and i think that's a manageable number. hopefully. i think.

in any case, there's still a chance that i can weasel my way into his tiny frigid heart (only kidding, i'm sure he's lovely) and he'll be willing to sacrifice a day he could bank $4k and charge a grip less since the party will only last a few hours instead of eight or twelve or whatever the $4k would buy me (which is an awful lot of time and film, believe me).

my last discovery of the day was that the fishes i was hoping to have around (instead of overpriced flowers) as centerpieces are not very compatible and that leaves me to research domestic fish species. hopefully i'll get lucky and there's some inexpensive friendly fish who can happily survive in a tiny vessel of H2O for a few hours and be readily adopted by guests (or myself, and put into a larger aquarium, if need be). and hopefully those fish are beautiful, in black, white, and orange, get along swimmingly (haha, boo!) and won't jump out to flop around on rented linens and china unexpectedly.....
so i'll make ryan take me to petsmart on the way home today so we can do some sniffing around.

implausible paranoia

my stress level flies off the chart as soon as anyone asks me about my wedding. i understand that this might be normal for every woman on the planet who has secretly been planning the day since their birth, having selected the perfect flowers and china patterns years before ever finding the right man...and consequently feels the need for complete control over every detail. the tricky bit here is that i am definitely not one of those women.
with each tick of the clock, my heart beats quicker, until i inevitably find myself chainsmoking and biting my nails simultaneously. i never expected i'd be planning (and paying for) a wedding, let alone at age 21. i never daydreamed about dresses and cakes, and suddenly i'm meeting with photographers and event coordinators, shaking in my beautifully-not-feminine boots. as soon as something appeals to me, someone hands me a magnifying glass and a teeny-tiny price tag displaying an outrageous number. every time. without fail. and then i really start to panic.
after all, i don't care much about these things, and city hall is starting to look mighty fine. but deep down, as much as i tell myself (and everyone else) that i'd rather not have any wedding at all than spend thousands of dollars on one single glorious day...the more i realise that i do want the day. i just don't want the outrageous price tag.
but after several planning fiascos and embarrassing meetings with industry professionals, it's finally starting to not be so scary. i cut out a lot of tradition to make room for the things i care about, and found (hopefully) ways to make those things happen without having to fork up $20k. hopefully...

hopefully having 2.5 years to figure it all out will make up for the lack of a substantial and expendible budget.